I leverage a lot of movie quotes. I think it stems from the fact that the 80’s movies of my childhood were the golden age of cheesy movie quotes. In 1989’s Lethal Weapon 2, the bad guy Hans comes into the boss Mr. Rudd’s office and after admitting that he messed up, gets shot in the head by Pieter the henchman. When Hans first walks in he is told that the plastic sheeting on the floor is because the boss is “having some painting done.” It’s an effective mental diversion scheme. Pieter quips while rolling up the body, “you give a whole new meaning to the word drop-cloth”. Later when Pieter returns to the office to report a mishap by him and his team, he is nervously looking around and when asked, he says he was “checking to see if I was standing on plastic.” I use that one all the time.

Sometimes you know something bad might be happening and you feel the need to see if you are standing on plastic. My position was eliminated from Fidelity a few weeks ago along with many others. I thought I would share what my experience was like. Many of my peers and I lived through 2008 and the market meltdown. We saw layoffs everywhere. The first Tuesday of each month was a harrowing cliche of coming into the office and looking to see if your boss was approaching your cube. This time, most of us knew something was coming as the new operating model was evolving, but I genuinely didn’t think I was on the block.

My day starts at about 5am. I wake, make my bowl of Kashi, grab vitamins and check Teams while I eat to see if there are any messages from my team from their work during IST hours. Teams is the urgent stuff, so I look at that first. Normally I do ROM, stretches, meditate and the rest of my routine, but on this Thursday I was heading from our beach condo back to Wilton do drop off Goose. I planned to work in the office before heading to golf league after work. The office is on the way so why not grab an ‘extra-credit’ day on our WFH week? Just before walking out at 5:50 I checked email and saw my boss scheduled a 1:1 at 10am. The invite came at 5:29am. Am I getting RIFd? Am I standing on plastic?

On the drive a million thoughts run through my brain. 10am is late, why so late? Maybe I am just being informed of other changes? What does this mean? I’ve changed a bunch of strategy lately and it has been well received, aren’t I still adding value? I was a finalist for another role, is this part of that move? It’s natural for me to game play different scenarios. An hour plus drive is a long time to ruminate. Along the way I got a text (read by Siri) that a peer also had a 1:1 earlier than mine. Really?

I got set up for the day’s meetings and text’d Sara to call me when she was up. (she planned to stay at the beach another night as the weather looked nice). We talked through the options, what does this mean? I had ripped through financial models too so I had a loose plan running in my head for the worst case. This plastic is definitely for me.

Our daily standup is at 8:30. Another member of the team missed it because he had a mysterious 1:1 too. I ran scrum and warned the team that an action was most likely going down and to be mindful that some people might not be responsive, including myself after my 10am call. I’m sure this was troubling for the team. We’ve been through a lot together over the past 3 years. Some have had children, parents have gotten sick, and passed, kids have been in the hospital. I care about each one of them and have always tried to be completely transparent and honest. We are like family.

The actual conversation is exactly what the Billy Bean character in MoneyBall counseled when a player gets traded. Just the facts, no judgement, no emotion. After 4 hours of buildup standing on that damn plastic, I actually appreciated the clarity and brevity. Your position has been eliminated, it’s not a reflexion of your work, you will receive an email, take the rest of the week for yourself. The only thing that was difficult for me was that I couldn’t tell my team. The people who lived in the trenches with me would have to wait til Tuesday (I had already planned to be out Monday) to know what was up, while the rumor mill churned.

In the end it makes sense and I have come to grips with it all. I still believe in small ownership-minded teams that can be agile while growing a product. I’ll figure out what is next for me and I was generously given that ability. Not all layoffs are as benevolent. After 21 years, I am absolutely grateful for that. I’m looking at options, figuring out what makes sense for the final phase of my career before I retire. I guess this is a slight pause before the final chapter. Unlike poor Hans, I’m still standing.