A Goofy Foot in Mouth

Some people quote poets, some great books, others quote politicians.  I am not that well read, so I quote movies.  If you have never seen the movie Malice with Alec Baldwin and Nicole Kidman, well you aren’t missing much.  But I happen to love this scene, where Baldwin’s character, a brilliant surgeon, tells the lawyer suing him for malpractice, that in the operating room…”I am God.”

Unfortunately, I think God Complex syndrome might be contagious within the ranks of religious conservatives.  Bob Portman came out in favor of gay marriage the other day, and the Supreme Court just heard oral arguments.  But regardless of what they all do, I have had this post in my head for a while now.  And for the record, I didn’t come to this realization because of them or because I have gay family members…all of that is a copout.  I like to think this is a rational analysis of a question, the second I have tried for a social issue.  We’ll see how it goes.

So as you might guess, I wasn’t going to just rely exclusively on some web site for background, I decided to go to the texts.  I didn’t read the whole thing, but here is what I found in my copy of the Bible that was given to me for my confirmation on May 20, 1988.  No I don’t remember the day, it is signed by Suzanne Paley.  Page 6, Genesis 2.24 after God creates woman “Hence a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh.”  The Book of Mormon starts much later, with the First Book of Nephi, so there is no equivalent to Creation.  Yes I have a copy, drives Megan crazy, but I always talk to those guys when they walk through the neighborhood.  The Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Watchtower has the same line on page 9, with a slightly different translation.  Yep, have one of those too.

I have read and heard that the big problem is with the word “marriage”.  Religious conservatives say that a marriage is between one man and one woman for the basis of procreation.  I am not sure that argument holds, since Adam and Eve “became one” before they had eaten the apple.  In that case, God created Eve because no “fitting helper” could be found among all of the animals that were brought before Adam to name.  Therefore, the family unit wasn’t even considered.

Getting married for the sake of a family doesn’t make sense either; what if a woman has passed menopause?  What if a couple decides not to have kids?  What if one party is sterile?  I have heard arguments in the reverse that kids are best served in childhood by a mother and a father in one house.  The notion of love is secondary.  What of an abusive father?  What if the couple neglects the child?  Would we turn to Brave New World style childbirth permitting?

I go back to the notion of “marriage” as a religious institution and a contract between a man, woman and God.  I am fine with that as a definition of marriage in the Judeo-Christian classical sense.  But if that is the case, then the Court should strike down the ability of the government to certify a contract with God as a breach of the separation of church and state.  In that case, the state is allowed to grant civil unions and that only.  This institution should be between any two adults who wish to form a legal union based on mutual affection (I reserve the use of the word “love”).  Spousal and all other legal rights formerly known under the institution of “marriage” should be conveyed on the couple.  Clearly we grandfather all existing marriages under the institution of “civil union”, although the wedding industry would surely love it if we all had to do it over again.

If a religion wants to grant a civil union as the legal component of its definition of “marriage”, the state can deputize those religious organizations to that responsibility.  Catholicism may decide that a “marriage” is only between a man and a woman, but some other religion may choose to define “marriage” differently.  A freak religion could even grant “marriage” or any other word as between any two parties (say between a man and a muscle car), but that would not then be afforded the rights of a “civil union” as legally defined by the government.   We allow beliefs in any craziness, so long as it doesn’t supersede legal authority or harm others.

My intent here is not to make some big deal about what “marriage” is or is not.  In my opinion, the time spent writing this post is already wasted from a civics perspective, because we have WAY bigger problems than this.  Therefore, I say it is rational to recognize a public notion of an adult two person union that needs legal benefits while at the same time there is a private religious notion of a union that is based on something different.  I have heard people argue that we must protect the institution of marriage as a sacred bond.  That’s fine with me if people want to think that way in their own private world of religious piousness.  A violation of that commandment (if it even is one) doesn’t hurt other people similar to the fact that violations of the laws of keeping Kosher, doesn’t hurt other people.  In these cases, there is no reason to think that you are so important that you MUST enforce these laws on others.  I worship God and my relationship is with him, not you.  Do people that feel this way really think that the all-powerful and omnipotent God needs help in enforcing his law?  Why would someone deputize themselves with some sort of God-complex, that they need to impart their (God’s) will on everyone?

Remember the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah?  When God sent Abraham into the lawlessness, he said he would save the cities if even just ten righteous people could be found.  So all we need to do is make sure we are represented before God by these righteous religious followers, ten per town.  Lucky for us, their sheer presence will save us from God’s wrath and certain destruction.  In the mean time, if a gay couple chooses to violate one of God’s laws in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone else, I tend to think that if God is really bothered, he can pretty easily destroy them on the spot.  If he chooses to deal with it later, well then rest assured, all you pious zealots can say “I told you so” from heaven while all of the “sinners” rot in hell.  There, you win.  Now can we get back to debating important stuff?

Last week for school vacation we all went to Killington for some skiing. The four of us were riding the lifts together and skiing closely in some fresh snow. We decided to take Juggernaut which is this long flat green off the top of the mountain. The snow was hanging heavily on the evergreens, it was snowing lightly, but in the upper 20’s. A nice and pretty run to round out the day. It was about 2:50 pm so getting late.

At one point the trail doubled back and there was a little short-cut through the trees to the other side of the trail. Haley loves these so she scooted through and we all joked on the far side. A little further down we thought there was another switchback. Haley ducked into the forest. Within 30 feet we realized the trail did not cut back. As quickly as I could skate back up I dove in behind her. She was nowhere to be seen. The trail had been bushwhacked with multiple tracks and so I called for Haley and did my best to follow her likely path. The forest is dense and the trees so laden with snow, that sound does not carry. After several minutes, I was worried and called Megan’s phone. She did not have Haley either and so we agreed to head down and meet at the bottom where she might hopefully come out.

I saw two skiers on the trail and asked them to keep a look out. Megan and Taylor searched and yelled from the trail. When I got to the bottom, no Haley. My phone had died but I got in touch with ski-patrol in the lodge. It was now 3:20. I borrowed someone’s phone to call Megan and as I walked outside to get a better signal, Haley ran out of the lodge crying, and rushed up to me for the best hug ever. She had remembered her training; got herself to the bottom, made herself safe, and looked for help. For Megan and I, that was probably the worst half hour of our lives

The next day I was riding the gondola with a mountain ‘ambassador’ and two other guys. A call comes in over the radio about a lost child and the two guys joked about how stupid you have to be to lose your kid. The ski patrol guy proceeds to joke about how often it actually happens. I of course sat in silence. I taught Taylor to ski 10 years ago and Haley 7, we have done over 100 days without incident, but in that moment I had become That Guy.

I live my life every day with the intent of never being That Guy you see on TV. The guy you pity, or laugh at or think is an utter moron. I often ski with my harness and a rope in case I get stuck on the lift. I look both ways when driving over train tracks; because who wants to be That Guy that got hit by a train because the lights didn’t work. I sit facing the door in conference rooms and restaurants. After Katrina I have 40 gallons of fresh water and 20 gallons of gasoline (for the generator) at the house at all times. I leave extra space between me and the car in front of me on the highway. I always have a corkscrew, Advil, fuses, diagonals and duct tape in the Tailgate box. I don’t like surprises, and I never want to be on TV for something I could have prevented.

No matter how much you prepare, no matter how small the probability of calamity, you have to expect that it will eventually strike. Our Haley adventure proved that. I never expect to be the victim of a home invasion either, but I put NRA stickers on every exterior door and I sleep with a 9mm in a safe next to the bed. I practice pushing the electronic combination buttons in the dark, switching off the safety, grabbing the extra magazine, and chambering a round. Even if I had George Soros or Michael Bloomberg money, I still believe in taking personal responsibility for myself and my family; I will not let us be at the mercy of someone else.

I will not be That Guy who walks through the house to fight a burglar with nothing but a bat in hand. I will not be That Guy who has to hear something happen to his kids or wife because he is physically unable to fend off multiple assailants. I don’t ever want to be anywhere near the scenario like the husband of Kimberly Cates.

When you believe in taking care of yourself, you don’t need some apathetic liberal telling you that the police will come and save you. I don’t want to think about the 3-5 minutes between when I call the police and when they get to my house, if I am even able to make the call. It is certainly not rational to think that that inaction is taking responsibility for my own safety. And I don’t need the vice president telling me that when the dogs bark in the middle of the night that I should get a shot gun and walk outside to who knows what kind of surprise and then proceed to empty my weapon in the air (what happens when the shot comes down?) How do you keep a shotgun readily accessible next to your bed and still safety it? Does Joe intend that I should keep two shells in the chamber at all times because it is hard to load shells while your hands are shaking? How do you walk around the house to make sure your family is safe with a shotgun? My hallways are 42 inches wide, a shot gun is at least 36 inches long, how do I take a turn with the butt tucked in my shoulder?

Everyone accepts a certain amount of risk, sometimes we try to eliminate it. Mitigating personal risk is just another form of taking responsibility for your own safety. After the skiing incident, Megan decided that Haley needed a bright yellow coat so we could see her more easily in the forest. I vowed not to be complacent on the mountain. After 911, everyone agreed we needed more security at airports. Both Presidents decided we needed to go on the offensive and attack terrorism at its source. The point is that there are different ways to try to minimize risk. Owning firearms is the way I do it in my home. Those that shoot know that it can be difficult to hit a target, especially in the dark, while you are moving, and the target is moving. I don’t need someone telling me that when there are multiple assailants in my house and I miss a few shots, that it is not really an inconvenience for me to eject the magazine, use my free hand to insert the second, release the slide, reset my grip, aim and then shoot. I am sure a bad guy would be willing to wait for me to do that while he is at most 19 feet away. That is the longest span between two walls in my house, Chuck and Diane. You can try to say “game off!” while you dial the police…tell me how that works for you.

Does it really matter what a firearm looks like? For my anti-gun friends that don’t know this, what makes a gun look like a mean “assault” rifle with those scary jagged edges is actually just a mounting system (“rails”) for accessories like a scope or flashlight. It’s like a roof rack, but certainly doesn’t make a rifle behave any differently.

For 30 minutes I imagined Haley being out in the cold, lost in the forest all night. I would have searched for her endlessly, wandering hundreds of acres until my hands and feet snapped off with frostbite. But the whole time I would be completely helpless to actually ease her pain. Let’s face it, as parents that is all we want to do: Give our children a better, easier and less painful life than we had. To safeguard the girls, I would love to employ a Secret Service detail to watch over them 24/7. But even if I did, there is no way that I would completely outsource care and safety to someone else. That is MY responsibility. I do everything I can to never feel anything like those 30 minutes. Just like all of us, I plan for contingencies, things that I can’t imagine, things I hope will never happen. I will never be That Guy in my house because I will never allow anything bad to happen to those girls. Those that really are serious about personal risk, take rational steps to eliminate as much as we can. I have done that. I might recommend that you take more responsibility because you are oblivious and lazy. You may conversely tell me that me I am overzealous, but don’t force me to do less.

A good friend of mine has an uncanny ability to completely ignore things that don’t fit with what he wants in his simple world.  I could give examples but it would give away the anonymity and possibly get him in trouble…not that he would even notice.

Sam and I talk about it all the time.  How nice it would be to have that talent.  I use the word “talent” very specifically, because this is not a “skill” that you can be taught.  It’s something you are born with.  For many of us it doesn’t work, you can try to ignore things, to ‘let it slide’ to have the “gift of blankness” but it never lasts.  And the reason is, we care.

It doesn’t matter if the issue is big or small; wanting help from your partner around the house, the way you believe children should be raised, how things should be organized in a cabinet, or how not to waste food.  When you care about something, you are incapable of passivity.  To tell the truth, when you make the effort to not care, it hurts.  It feels like you are selling yourself out.  There is a reason they call it “biting” your tongue.  It is possible for short periods of time if there is payback, but this is not sustainable.

For me this is a particularly intense problem, because I care about so many different issues and those that know me, know that I have strong opinions about each.  I am often swayed by the opinions of others and I enjoy hearing diverse opinions, if for nothing else than the sake of intellectual argument.  But the manifestation of “caring” for me always boils down to the need for some sort of public policy.  Policy does not have to be legislation, but when you care about something, you need to feel that you are doing something about it.  Making a difference is pointless unless something becomes different.

That was a four paragraph intro to my next topic, which really doesn’t fall into the Rational Republican policy series, but is definitely a theme.  I was called a “feminist” last night for posting that Beyonce should have worn more clothing at her Superbowl halftime performance.  That is a first for me.  While I think it was said sarcastically, it was definitely meant as a playful insult.  As I think of the gender gap from the last election, I wonder how it is that the feminist movement (lowercase “f”) became so taboo that being branded one has become insulting.

Raising girls certainly places the world in a different context.  Which means that statistically, more than 50% of men should feel the same as I.  The fact that they don’t, actually forms the basis of this argument, but more to that later.  Watching Beyonce last night punctuated my frustration here, and while I know I should shut up, this stuff bothers me…I care.

As the performer licked her finger and ran it down her cleavage Haley noted “Do they know that kids are watching this?”  She is 10, and while I can handle the gyrating dance moves,  it was the outfits, followed by the Two Broke Girls disaster, and bookended by GoDaddy commercials that really makes you wonder about the message we send to young girls.  This is especially poignant from an industry that claims to seek more female fan participation.  Is it strange that I am called “old” by my peers yet I am the one who really hates objectifying women like that (a historically ‘old-timer’ trait)?  Yes Yes I know it is everywhere, and one Calvin Klein ad doesn’t create parity.  Nor does it make the practice right.  The goal of feminism is equality of the sexes, but how can you measure equality while acknowledging that objectification adds to the success of an action by one gender?

Beyonce gave a good performance with solid choreography.  Was it better because she was wearing leather lingerie?  As a friend noted, seeing all female dancers and female musicians was a positive image for my girls.  But will water cooler talk today center on anything other than how hot she looked?  Did anyone ever say that James Brown gave a better performance because he looked “hot?”  Should we buy from GoDaddy because some chubby geeky kid made out with a hot blond sitting next to Danica Patrick? (repulsive fake sound effects included)  Should attractive women that cry get out of speeding tickets?  How do cheerleaders actually add to a football game when they encourage cheering at the wrong times (2 minute warning and end of quarters)?

Am I taking this too far?  Maybe.  But I am so sick of Lilly Ledbetter, how many women are appointed to a president’s cabinet and how few women CEOs there are, but we don’t talk about this stuff.  Like it is some mystery why people argue there is sexism at a macro level, yet so many great examples when it is moot at the micro level.  Queen Latifah is a great example (U.N.I.T.Y. or Ladies First).  Juxtapose her lyrics to Beyonce’s.  Great performance and great music, no need for being trashy. 

We teach kids about earning ‘extra credit’ in school.  When raw sex appeal leads to a higher qualification of talent, is that not another form of ‘extra credit’?  In effect, we are teaching young girls to leverage their sex appeal, that it will give you a leg up.  If I have an edge over a male colleague, you think I am not going to use it?  Do we honestly expect attractive women in the same position to not use that leg up?

If you acknowledge these possibilities then you also have to understand that when evaluating a woman’s (singular) work on its own, you then have to discount the relative worth, because of sex appeal grade inflation.  Of course this is patently obnoxious, but is there a rational response to this dynamic that wouldn’t naturally follow this course?  Why do you think we are where we are?

As I noted, the fact that these trends continue indicates that there are fathers of girls who irrationally don’t want attitudes to change.  I am a fan of beautiful women, but not as it pertains to them doing their job (unless directly germane, like modeling).   Who you are is a measure of what you do, not how sexy you look while doing it.  The two should be separate and distinct.

How can you want your daughter to grow up in a world where flaunting her body will contribute to her success?  Is that really a measure of her self-esteem and worth?  For women, if you recognize that your value is discounted because men (and some women) weigh your performance based on looks…then call out women that perpetuate that horrible trend!  Tell Beyonce to put some clothes on and find value in her voice and dancing skills, not her curves.

I am a white male Republican, which means that calling out men’s hypocrisy here might be the death sentence of my political career.  But eliminating the gender gap can only be executed by fighting the exact stereotypes that led to its creation.  It is all the more powerful of a movement when those that had previously perpetuated that travesty find religion and now are zealots in battling it.  For the stereotypical Republican male that doesn’t get subtlety, let me be painfully blunt, this is our Sister Souljah moment.  We should embrace it, because in the end, we really do care.

Any decent leader must actually find a way to affect change, rather than just talking about how great that change would be.  When I was president of the temple watching membership dwindle with an outrageous annual budget deficit, one of the first speeches I gave was about how we needed to change because we are dying as a congregation.  Not only the journey, but the destination would be worth it.  And I scoped out a destination that built on community and culture.  At every turn, I was thwarted by people that had no interest in change and a rabbi that couldn’t fathom it.  I resigned with 4 months left in my term:  A leader must bring about change or he/she is not leading.  Lead, follow or step aside: In that case, I didn’t have the energy to lead.

Republicans are in the same spot.  They see a President incapable of leading, who somehow wins the vision battle without actually creating a vision.  They figure if a winning ‘vision’ strategy is to negatively criticize your opponent, then be the better criticizer.  That is 2004 Carl Rove thinking.  We should be better than that.  Don’t be Axelrod and spew stupid alliteration slogans on the Sunday talk shows.  A Rational Republican looks to the things that are furthest in the future, figures out a fair way to balance various demands for that future and then promotes a vision.  Tactical plans form the basis of legislation to get us there.  That is how you win the debate for hearts and minds.  Nothing has more effect on the future than environmental policy, because this planet isn’t going anywhere.  So I will tackle this one first.

Clean air, clean water, clean cities, healthy animals, that’s the easy stuff.  Work with industry to make those goals a reality.  Use social media to trumpet companies that do well.  Create certifications for environmental virtue (like LEED for efficiency) and then advertise for the companies to make them want to do good to get the free press (aka sales).  That stuff is easy, you just need a marketing plan and to enforce laws in partnership with industry rather than as adversaries.  Above all, create clarity about what you want and how companies can work with you to get there.  Regulatory uncertainty means corporate meetings (lawyers, product, finance, compliance, physical plant, manufacturing- that’s a lot of people), meetings lead to delayed decisions, delays mean waste, waste means falling profits, falling profits mean layoffs.  If our President spent a single day in a corporation, he might know that.

Climate change can be just as easy, when you think about and espouse it in ways that emphasize the need for everyone to do their part.  The important thing is to make a big deal about how little it should hurt.  Don’t come out with Cap & Trade, fuel efficiency standards and criticize oil companies as a strategy.  Come out with broad goals, and make one of them really easy, and then push that one hardest of all, the others come along for the ride.  Don’t make fun of the other side, this isn’t a battle of ‘I am smarter than you’ or ‘my scientist can beat up your scientist.’  Be a grownup.

The planet is getting warmer.  I saw it in Juneau, AK at the Mendenhall glacier.  They built the visitor center at the edge of the ice 50 years ago.  Now there is a lake and the ice wall is over a mile away.  What really doesn’t matter is WHY the planet is getting warmer.  It could be greenhouse gases from cars, people breathing, pigs and cows pooping or the lack of algae in the ocean.  All I know is that if I close my closet door and breath inside for an hour, the air gets stale and warm.  If I run my car in the garage for a few hours and sit in there, I will die.  These things are bad.  But you know what, it could be solar activity and this whole thing could turn in 10 years with a solar cycle.  It doesn’t matter, if you can’t predict the future, solve the problems in the present.  Anything that minimizes greenhouse trends, will help.  If I am breathing crappy air in the closet and cut a 1 inch hole, that is still better than no hole.

So here is my simple 3 point strategy

1)  Eventually, we need to think of carbon oxidation in the context of its fully loaded cost and effect on the environment.  I don’t know how to do this formulaically, but methods can be negotiated.  Be smart, don’t do it as a tax or a forced trading market.  Forcing a company to pay penalties to the government is not going to go over well.  Make it so that companies can ‘pay’ the load in the form of R&D spend on more efficient energy research.  For small companies, let them contribute to a VC fund that invests in clean energy.  At least they get to own an asset that might help them transition to the future.  Taxes kill, “investments” build future, isn’t that the liberal mantra?  Advocate for every source of energy; wind, coal, natural gas, oil, hydro, solar.  But make sure that the relative cost between them becomes equitable based on the effects on the environment.  At some point, someone will figure out that ‘free’ sources are more profitable than ones you have to dig up.  More profit means a bigger bonus; remember this is about people.  People act like people, corporations do not.  So don’t treat people like they are corporations.  Note that THIS is your aspirational goal, this is not pragmatic, do not focus on this out of the gate.

2)  Use the bully pulpit to criticize waste.  Waste is everywhere and everyone can share in eliminating it.  I have no stats to back this up, but the US must waste at least 15% of all energy on a daily basis.  Changing attitudes could recover some of this cost with no real adverse change in lifestyle.  Imagine say 10% less energy consumption every day, and you didn’t have to tax, cap and trade, or penalize.

• Instead of criticizing oil companies, how about the moms that sit at soccer games in the parking lot with the car AC or heat running.
• Or cops that leave the car running while on traffic duty.
• Or the companies that make remote car starters so you can warm your car and waste 5-10 minutes of gas for a 20 minute drive to work.
• Where is the focus on recycling, you should see the bin of bottles and cans I take home from a tailgate.  Paper, junk-mail, cardboard…if it has a numbered triangle on the bottom, throw it in a blue whale.
• I peel the foil label on Megan’s silly Kuerig drink cups and recycle those.  I recycle coffee grounds and have the reusable k-cups.  I throw vegetable scraps and other food scraps in a compost pile.
• I yell at Taylor for long showers
• I am constantly turning off conference room lights at work as well as lights at home.
• Close the fridge and don’t preheat the oven.  You know why recipes tell you to preheat?  Because they don’t know how long your oven takes to get warm, so they can’t give you an accurate cook time.  Use your brain, make the adjustment.
• Get a programmable thermostat and heat wisely.  The heat in our bedroom goes down to 55 during the day in the winter and comes on just before we go to bed.  I use an electric blanket to preheat the bed so the room seems warmer than it actually is.
• Use a push-mower instead of a riding one and get some exercise at the same time (you can still hold a beer- trust me).  Use the clippings to cover the dog poop on your compost pile instead of throwing it in the trash.

There are so many more examples: This stuff isn’t tough, it doesn’t even take effort, it is just an extension of the outcome of things you do right now anyway.  Want a legacy?  Change the way people act, show them that it can be cool to be responsible.  Use gamification to promote competitions, make it an activity, part of your normal day.

3)  Advocate for smart energy use of existing technologies rather than dreaming of carbon sequestration or super-batteries or hyper-efficient solar panels.

• Green Mountain Power is turning cow manure into power by processing the natural methane.  “According to the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) the decomposition of cow manure produces 7 percent of the United States’ methane, a gas that is 20 times more powerful than carbon dioxide at trapping heat in the atmosphere.”    Check this out…If methane digesters were installed on most California dairies, they would protect the climate as much as taking more than one million cars off the road – about 5% of the state’s total
• Cape Wind on Nantucket Sound was a no brainer.  I don’t care if the Kennedy’s view from Hyannis is hindered or 10 seagulls get hit by turbines, wind power is free and carbon free.  Fighting it for so long is a bunch of NIMBY crap.  Everyone has to chip in, just do it.
• Same goes for people in the northcountry of NH complaining about hydro power coming down from Canada.  Would I rather “trees not towers”?  Of course, but everyone wants the lights to come on when they flip a switch.  Everyone has to compromise and as much as I love the beauty of the mountains, I understand that I have to give something too.

A CEO would work with what he/she has in the tool shed to solve a problem.  A community organizer is free to give lofty speeches dreaming about how great the world would be if the problem were solved.  I like dreaming too and hope for a Star-Trek-like positive utopian future where the Earth is clean and peaceful and everything is happy.  Matter/anti-matter reactions have the potential of producing infinitely clean power, but if I got on a soapbox calling for a “Manhattan project” to search for dilithium and warp-core reactors, would I be based in reality?  Would I actually be solving a problem?

These aren’t crazy ideas, they are Rational.  They aim to antagonize waste and laziness not people who are doing their best to get ahead.  There is more than enough of that laziness to go around.  Somehow we now have these distorted egotistical attitudes that tell us that it is OK to be lazy, because we are going to win no matter what .  Well we aren’t and a leader would prepare us for that eventuality.  She should give us a kick in the butt that says the only way things are going to be better is if we MAKE them better.

The environment isn’t something you can just wish into nirvana.  And a leader has to do something to make it work that is rational and realistic for the times.  You have to understand where we are right now and where we want to be.  Right now, things are getting warmer.  And you know what really bothers me?  Warm means no snow.  No snow means no skiing.  We need more snow.  Fix the problem.

I don’t want to talk about the election results. That has been well covered, and while I disagree with many of the conclusions, I would like to call out one important thing. Maybe not at the end, but there were a lot of “undecideds” at one point. The massive shifts in Republican polling during the primaries show at least half of that dynamic. But for some reason all of these idiot political consultants have done everything possible to prevent politicians from connecting with voters. I have written about this before, but chief among the glaring barrier between candidate and constituent has been the lack of the use of analogy to make political and policy arguments more cogent.

Imagine you are a farmer from a long line of farmers producing fresh crops for the local community. Your parents teach you the craft and when the time is right, you take over the family business, a 100 acre farm. Each year you look at last year’s production, advances in technology and most importantly how many people there are in the community that will buy your crops. No sense in planting too many acres if you can’t sell it. Conversely, you don’t want to farm too little, else your customers will go somewhere else, even at higher cost. These predictions are paramount to your success, your livelihood and the future of your family farm.

The tractor is getting old and during the winter you decide to buy a new unit in the spring. There are many different models for selection. Factoring the payment, your margins and anticipated future potential, you obviously don’t want to buy something too big. It’s time to figure out what your prospects over the next few years will be and estimate trended demand. So you naturally look at what you have been farming over the past years. Looking at your notes you see that while your parents had once jam packed all 100 acres, because of bumper crops and people moving out of town, or buying frozen vs fresh and other trends in the local community, that you are down to only farming about 80-85 acres. What’s more, you see that couples are marrying later and having fewer children later life, so you can estimate that the trend for fresh vegetable demand over the coming years will not go up. Bottom line, you can buy a smaller tractor and save some money on the monthly payment, which will already be tough to cover, given your projections.

Is there anything here that does not make prefect sense? Even if you are not a farmer, can you understand, appreciate and even support the decision of the farmer? Sure we may argue about adoptions adding people to the community or the new community center drawing in a few new families, but those are arguments at the fringe. While, the farmer may want the super huge John Deere model 9560R, it is not justified for a farm in the 80 acre range. Buying it would be irresponsible, negligent, and jeopardize the livelihood of her family. Right?

Last week Salem held a hearing with the school committee to discuss a possible plan to close one of the 6 elementary schools in town. Over the past 5 years the town passed articles to fund massive renovation projects for 3 of the 6 (now complete). A warrant to renovate the other 3 was voted down in the last election. So the school committee did the responsible strategic-minded thing, and went out to hire a professional firm to study student population growth over the next 5 years. After seeing the numbers trend down so steeply, the committee, with the superintendent, thought it might be prudent to ask the town to only renovate 2, since the third could be closed keeping projected class sizes the same, even with the smaller footprint. As a kicker, closing one school would save an estimated $900k per year in operating costs.

At the meeting, I was the only one to stand up in support of what to me seems like the only rational course of action. A high schooler got up and rambled for 10 minutes about the need to renovate the high school (well established fact, but not part of the agenda) to thunderous applause. A “graduate” of the school in question talked about the soul of the school and what it meant to him. There was anger over the (heaven forbid!) need to possibly bus students 2-3 whole miles further than they do today…gasp! And then my favorite: A fellow employee and financial advisor described how we were in a cyclical bear market and soon we should shift back to a cyclical bull market and when that happens there will be all this crazy demand…for a school? Hey Meg, if the market goes up 10% let’s have another baby and get him into, the school system ASAP. Are you kidding me?!?

I was livid. Even if births in the area were to suddenly spike, it took 2.5 years from start to finish of the 3 school renovation plan to be voted, funded and completed. As Bubba would say, it’s arithmetic. If I see 500 new babies born over the next year to replace the estimated drop in enrollment, I still have at least a year to plan the school renovation and have it complete before those babies turn 4-5 and enter that school. Geewiz, how do I know that? I can read a calendar. This stuff is not hard to figure out. What’s more, if Congress is unable to do anything to set this country on a stable path to prosperity, do you really think the economy will magically cycle back to a bull market and there will be massive expressions of peace and love and unprotected sex happening throughout southern New Hampshire? If you are the farmer, how many acres do you plant as a contingency for THAT scenario?

I went to Cogswell school in Bradford, MA for second and third grade. I think it was built as the town hall in the 1800s and later became a grammar school. Today it is empty, for sale even. Does that change the status of my degree as class of ’80? Tear it down and plant corn for all I care. Somehow when this country acts as a democracy, we respond with emotion first. Yet somehow we formed an emotional bond with a detached an aloof Harvard law grad turned community organizer. In the absence of a rational argument people gravitate to the familiar old blanket, even if it is full of holes and no longer keeps warm.

The term “Compassionate Conservative” seems to have been a complete farce, attempting to play on people’s need for a warm blanket. This has no meaning to me and certainly provides no hint of how to approach problems with the interest of actually solving them. I will aim to be a Rational Republican… That movement starts today.

I was driving home from work the other day and as I passed through a neighborhood, a young kid maybe 14-15 was skateboarding down the middle of the road. This was a two lane residential street with space for on-street parking on one side. Cars were lined on the opposite side so that leaves maybe 24 feet for me and oncoming cars. Of my 12 feet, this kid decided to go right down the middle. There were sidewalks on both sides of the street and despite the fact that he was moving at a walking pace, they apparently weren’t good enough. My young friend looked back at me several times and as I approached to within 50 feet or so, he saw no need to give way.

Wanna hear me sound old? “When I was a kid…” yes we actually feared cars on the road…they hurt! Oh sure we’d say “hit me and I’ll sue” because everyone knew that the surest way to fortune was a six figure settlement from some litigious ambulance chasing scumbag lawyer. But times were different, when you went out to “play” there was a 90% chance that you were going to get hurt. Riding bicycles? We didn’t even know there were helmets. Skiing at the Bradford bump? = Chinese Downhill (where does that awful name come from anyway?). Sledding down Nottingham? The whole point was to push your opponent into a tree or a parked car. Bumper skiing behind the bus? Sounds awesome until you realize you are going too fast and have to let go.

I could go on, but I think you get the point that actions actually used to have consequences. So fear really meant something. I know I am being hypocritical here. We protect the girls so much that they don’t even really realize that there are recreational activities that actually hurt. When life has no consequences, there is no reason to act responsibly. You could say my skateboarding friend is no different from irresponsible bankers lending money to wannabe homeowners with no means of paying a mortgage. Those bankers are in their 30s and 40s, my age. Declaring bankruptcy is so easy now that who cares if you screw up. You get 3 lives in Donkey Kong, don’t you get a “do over” in life too?

I’m a big fan of personal responsibility. It is emblematic of the New Hampshire spirit. I like to meet people with that can-do, take-charge-of-my-own-destiny mentality; shovel my own driveway, build my own deck, change my own brakes, repair my own sled (aka snowmobile). It helps me to believe that it is possible that the next generation will have at least some people that believe that they have responsibility for their lives and what happens to them. People that know what it is like to take risks, to understand the consequences of excessive risk will always be the ones that understand the satisfaction of personal success as well as the consequences of not taking any risk. You want to play in the street? Fine, but have the respect, the responsibility to know when to get out of the way. When did the world become so “me” focused that kids now feel entitled to own the road? Is the new ‘normal’ an attitude that someone will provide for me, so what difference does risk make? Given the way my generation was raised, yet displayed some of the irresponsibility that created the Financial crisis, what will this new generation grow up to become? They know no responsibility- they feel entitled to gadgets and technology and the ‘everyone gets a trophy’ mentality such that they don’t even make risk-weighted choices anymore. Mommy and daddy will come through for me, my lawyer will get me off because I’m just a kid, why learn anything when I can Google it?

Life’s lessons of risk and consequence should be baked into everything, that is how you raise a generation with respect for natural and given resources. Unless you have seen Wayne’s World, no one even knows what “Game Off” means anymore. When we played street hockey, we didn’t even have nets. We set up 2 rocks at either end of the street. No one took wild shots: you had to chase the ball. You wanted the side going uphill even if it was harder running: the ball didn’t roll as far. When someone parked on the street: you knocked on the house door and asked very politely if they would move their car so we could play. When you see a car heading this way: “Game Off!” and step to the side of the street. We would even make sure to use low profile rocks: Who could afford to pay for undercarriage work if a car hit one of the rocks when driving over? In a world where everyone plays in organized leagues with refs and protective equipment and liability release forms and cheering parents and trophies and designated snack providers and a Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, who even thinks about risk anymore?

Football season doesn’t really start for me until the first home game of the regular season.  A home game means tailgating.  Tailgating is awesome.  This is my 11th year of being a season ticket holder and I will never get sick of it.

Sam and I run the tailgate.  Tomorrow’s 1pm game means leaving the house at 7 am and getting home at about 7pm.  Drinking beer in the morning is a little silly, but bloody mary’s do the trick.  We like 4pm games.  Those feel about right.

Some of you remember that last year marked the creation of the tailgate box.  During the offseason there were numerous surgeries resulting in greatly enhanced capabilities.  We learned a lot last year because there were many 4pm games.  The best part of the later game is that when you get to the parking lot at 11:45, there are usually 2 nationally televised games.  So with my regular TV and Sam’s portable plugged into the box, we could watch both games.  But that wasn’t working, so I got a bigger TV.  For tomorrow, we will be watching pre-game on the little screen and an old SuperBowl on the big screen (32).

I also finally painted it, did some rewiring and added a lid that holds more stuff, including an espresso machine.  After all, we may be rednecks in the parking lot, but we aren’t heathens.  Here is the picture of the box folded up.

I really like having everything in one unit so I don’t have the mish-mash of setting up and lists to make sure I remember stuff.  Plus other groups love it, they all come over and ask if I am going to sell them.  Little do they realize I have at least 100 hours into this thing.  At some point I will build version 3 and it will be all powered by hydraulics and make sound effects like in the Transformers movie. Dad is sending me a battery meter, how cool is that.

Here is the unit opened up in the garage.  I will try to post video of the setup process from the parking lot tomorrow, so keep a look out.

There is something about tailgating with the guys that makes football so much more enjoyable.  I built regulation cornhole boards, and Meg bought me ladder golf.  We’ll have the table going for a pong tournament.  Most likely some other crews will come over and play in some games.  There is a genuine feeling of camaraderie in the parking lots.

We have other traditions.  Like our system for DJ’ing music.  Last year we came up with the approach that everyone gets to play 5 songs from their ipod/phone.  This year we had to cut it to 4, because CMAC kept getting skipped.  The only rules are that 1) no song can be longer than 5 minutes and 2) there is no crappy pop dance music.  Whatever ridicule comes your way, you gotta take it, but the song plays til completion.  We can get pretty rough.  I can’t wait for tomorrow.  I am playing a 4 song funk set.  Superstition, Jungle Boogie, Brickhouse, and of course Play that Funky Music.  Sam  is going to explode.  He can’t take anything but G&R or AC/DC.  Last year CMAC played a full set of Michael Jackson rock covers.  Spence mixed in Pink Floyd and Cake.  Awesome.   This season is going to be a blast.  Even if the Pats don’t win, we always know it’s a good day in the parking lots.  See you boys tomorrow.

In January I set some goals for the year.  I am a little late on my review, but this morning’s blog post hit one of them, so this seems like a good time to go through the list with comments.   Here it goes.  Progress noted in Red

Read books- I read 2 books in addition to my regular reading and podcasts
Post 26 times, add comment to form auto-biography- Done, but I have not completed biography
Start tailgate site as coding test case, use squarespace- I tested squarespace on a different idea and have decided to move in a different direction
Finish House projects, inc water and parking at skihouse.  Not even close, but making progress
Surf at least 3 times- Not even once. FAIL
Break 100 in golf- Done. two weeks ago I shot a 95 on a great day at Killington
Organize life and schedule each week on iPad- Kind of, still working tech challenges
Business- Nope. But lots of pivots here and even some new ideas from Joe that could make it really work.

Start coding – Nope
Beta for 1 business, have something to pitch – Whiteboard notes, but no
Pitch medical idea internal Fido – Idea already built, but pitched other ideas and my career may be at an inflection point
Figure a way to fund development of something in house – Plan for January will happen with oDesk or new idea

Break 20 min for 5k- I haven’t run one yet, missing Salem this weekend, maybe a turkey trot
Sub 170 lbs – 177, nope
Run 3 obstacle races – Finish top 5 for my age group DONE.  And close enough on being a top finisher. Triathlon (1:21 bad), Local Mud (22nd of 355 overall ), Spartan Sprint (94th of 3644 overall, top 3%)
Keep up SEALFit Plus added Sealgrinderpt

I’ll post goals for the rest of the year soon.  Hopefully I can make some more progress.  Spartan Beast and Hampton Beach marathon coming up in a few weeks.

I have been struggling with how to frame this post for a while now. The subject matter may be a little touchy to some. I personally don’t think it is an issue. Maybe I am just rationalizing. Either way, I will frame my rationalization here and you can be the judge if the logic is sound.

I am reading the 20th anniversary edition of Cigar Afficianado. In it they went back to many of the subjects of their cover stories to interview them on their experiences with the story and to gain some base details about their enjoyment of cigars. Whenever I read biographies, I like to imagine how I would respond to some of the questions.

When did you start smoking cigars? I don’t remember my first but I do remember the one that really exposed me to enjoying them. I was in San Diego for the SCT Summit conference about 1998. My friend Julio and I were walking through the Gas Lamp district at night after dinner. We walked past a very small cigar rolling shop and the owner was sitting in the front window, rolling cigars by hand. I was fascinated so we went in. Turns out this guy grew up in the town next to Julio in the Dominican Republic. He pulls out a special bin of tobacco and rolls a cigar just for me. That was one of the best cigars I’ve ever had.

What is your favorite moment enjoying a cigar?. I don’t have one special more than others, but I do have several that are memorable. A few months ago with dad and Derik on the cruise in Alaska. At Derik and Jenn’s wedding with all of the guys and Derik’s uncles singing old French drinking songs. The fire pit at Bachelor Gulch late one night with Tom at our ski trip to Beaver Creek. With Meg, Loren and Michelle at the Kenny Chesney CountryFest in Foxboro.

Why do you enjoy smoking cigars? Megan is always yelling at me that I don’t know how to relax. I guess I just don’t like to, it feels like a waste of time. I enjoy reading, but because I only read non-fiction, my brain is always moving and I am always trying to put facts into context. I just don’t slow down and enjoy the moment. Given all of my priorities and other stresses, there are only a few times that I really relax. Playing golf, après ski,and tailgating are times when I feel like I slow down enough to enjoy the moment. For some reason, the act of enjoying a cigar forces me to really focus on those times and not other worries. I never listen to music anymore, but at night after everyone is asleep, I sit out on the deck and look at the stars, listen to some jazz and smoke a cigar, and I truly feel at peace.

For the record, I am not a fan of smoking. It is a relatively disgusting habit, and I know that Megan won’t kiss me for 24 hours after a cigar. Taylor hates it and is constantly worried that I will die from my one cigar every few weeks. My stress level is so high that I need those moments of clarity and focus and introspection. I don’t know why, but enjoying a cigar gives me that. I exercise over an hour every day, so I am in great shape. I feel that my running, offsets the negative effects of not inhaling a cigar now and then. For me, it helps me to cope with all the other stresses in life. For me, the mental health I gain from the hour of enjoying a cigar, offsets the negative health side effects. For me, it is all about balance. It is one positive thing that helps balance a lot of potentially negative ones. I may be making excuses, but I think the important thing is for each individual person to have at least one little thing that gives them moments of clarity and focus. Cigars may not be for everyone, but they work for me. How about you, what is your balance?

Since father’s day I have been working to think of a way to post something about my dad. Nothing has really worked until just recently.

I was coming home from Vermont with Tay last weekend and Meg called me to tell me that the washing machine made a loud horrible noise and the rubber gasket on the front was all messed up. That was the full description. Naturally I concluded that she killed the washer, and that because of her negligence I was “inheriting” a broken machine and we needed to buy a new one or spend a lot of money to fix it.

I know what you are thinking, before I even know anything about what happened I say that Megan killed the washer and I am blaming it all on her? Seriously? Well sure as it was George Bush that ruined the economy and not Congress and/or FNMA encouraging home ownership as the prime goal of personal finance, and financial institutions creating instruments with no transparency or an accurate pricing model, and most importantly stupid people buying houses they couldn’t afford then she MUST be the one that killed the washer. Because it couldn’t be the dumb engineer who created a bad design nor the inept Chinese assembly plant that put it together wrong, or any of the 10 years of wear and tear before today that did it in. Sorry, I digress, that too is a dad trait.

Growing up, dad would fix everything; cars, anything electrical, tvs, appliances, it didn’t matter. Dad has this philosophy that 90% of fixing stuff is just taking it apart, cleaning it up and putting it back together (correctly). That earned him the nickname “fix-em dad”. But it was the other 10% that earned my admiration. Back to the washing machine…

So at 8PM while the girls watched Olympic Soccer I took the washer apart to figure out what was wrong, because that’s what you do in these situations. Watching dad, I learned to line up the screws as you take them out or rethread them as you go. Be methodical, or as dad would say, “don’t do it half-ass”. I line up the parts too, First out is the closest and last one in.

So it turns out that while I thought I was buying a full stainless steel tub, that only metal is just the screen piece that spins inside of a plastic tub (that you can’t see in the showroom). The plastic tub catches the water during the wash/spin cycle to pump out from the bottom. The motor, pully, and pump are all attached to this plastic tub held up with struts (little shock absorbers) on the bottom and suspended from the metal box by two heavy duty metal springs. This way when a lopsided heavy load spins, the force is absorbed by the springs and dampened by the struts.  All of the pieces float inside of the white metal box you see in your laundry room.

Pretty good idea except that the METAL springs that shake a whole bunch are hooked onto a PLASTIC hole. And while one spring has a nylon protector to alleviate friction, the other must have been lost during assembly.  Hence the wearing out of the hole and the break.This is how the other spring looked

Megan of course wants to call a repair guy or just buy a new washer. Now the only way to replace this part is to pull the whole tub out, disassemble the screen, replace the tub and put it all back in. That’s got to be 4-5 hours plus the cost of the part = lots of money. A new washer would be $800.  I am not ready to quit.  So I decide that I can use two of the screws that hold the two halves of the tub together and splice several layers of galvanized strapping in between to create a new hole for the spring hook.  Note: galvanized strapping is like duct tape, except for people that want a longer term solution.  I use it for everything.

After about 4 hours, as I am finishing, Megan wakes up and says “You’re still working on this?”  Well after all that effort the washer is working now and hopefully I can get a few months out of this solution.

This story sums up my dad and how he has affected me.  I don’t give up on creating solutions and I hate wasting something that still has value.  When everyone else thinks something is done, I am still going at it, messing with new ways to make it work.  I can’t tell you how much I have saved over the years by not throwing things out and making the most of a bad situation.  I have lots of nicks and scars to show for it, plus a lot of cost savings, but most importantly to me, a stubborn perseverance to find a better way to do things that makes me who I am.

It really was a nice fix-em, thanks dad.